There’s something deep in the soul of a person that’s been exposed to Pentecostal roots or any Southern hardcore religion for that matter. One soon develops a passion to do whats right and pleasing in the sight of God. Some people have dreams, visions and dare I say ‘déjà vu’ as to which path to take. Nothing wrong with that unless you are trying to shove that path under someone else’s feet.
Just A gentle nudge will do.
I remember growing up with so much guilt and unresolved issues of acceptance. Never feeling like I fit in the mold. I didn’t quite understand the hair thing, dress thing, makeup thing and many other things for that matter. However, the guilt thing…was always there. Sometimes someone else would give their two cents as to why I needed to have quilt on a subject I had no quilt on.
For instance, I remember wearing a pretty little hairpin to church once that served the soul purpose of helping me keep this untamed beast on my head looking half way decent. That night there was a new visiting preacher screaming fire and brimstone at the congregation from the top of his lungs. He dove deeper and deeper in the details of the pits of hell that awaited us. It was soon brought to my attention that something as little as my hairpin could send me busting thru the gates of hell.
Why? I wondered.
It’s just a little hairpin with a little fake zirconia diamond that had lost it’s luster long ago. I had gotten it years ago, somewhere, perhaps another church garage sale. I simply could not remember for the life of me. Now I sat in church with a new found fact that this lil hairpin would soon be my demise.
I thought I would reach up and carefully slip it from my hair as the preacher darted around like a wild deer. But, then it occurred to me…what if the mess I had carefully assigned my hairpin to hold up came crashing down upon my shoulders, causing a fresh out of the bedroom look? Would I then be held responsible for the men that sat on theses pews? According to the preacher-man I would cause their souls to unknowingly begin to lust. My lil hairpin and I had powers I had no clue we possessed.
As I tried to reach up and pull this pretty lil evil-doer from my hair, the preacher quickly made his way to the corner of the pew where I was sitting. It was too late. I had been caught. He had seen it. Had I known of the seductive power of my hairpin I would have never worn it to church.
He continued preaching but harder now, I felt droplets of spit and his breath on the back of my neck. The congregation was now turned watching him as I felt my ears begin to burn and everything about me blush.
My mind went there. At any moment I just knew he would be reaching up and slapping me on the forehead and rebuking my rebellious spirit. How the hell was I suppose to know? It was an innocent looking hairpin. I had no clue men could be brought to their knees by its powers.
It seemed like an eternity that he stood there, my ears were burning from all the screaming. I had my head down and was whispering my own prayers that he would just leave. As I heard his voice move closer to the pulpits instant relief came over me.

Two things I learned that night:
1. Never underestimate the power of a hairpin in a woman’s hairdo.
2. Men weak enough to lust over a hairpin don’t belong on a pew they belong at the alter!
#beauty #hairdo #women #church #humorous #funny #prayers